What Louise Hay Taught Me About Relationships: A Short Tribute

The world has lost someone great recently. Some of you know of her and some of you don’t. Louise Hay impacted millions of people’s lives around the world with her healing work and books. This post is a tribute to her as I share one of the big lessons I’ve learned about relationships from her.

In her book “You Can Heal Your Life,” Louise Hay says that,

“every major relationship we have is a reflection of the relationship we had with one of our parents.”

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Relationships are essentially mirrors of ourselves.

She said that what we attract ALWAYS mirrors either qualities we have ourselves or beliefs we have about relationships.

Consequently, what this means is that the things you tend to NOT like about some people are either what YOU yourself do or not do, or what YOU believe.

This is a major idea with huge repercussions.

So many times we look at the people (or things) we have relationships with and all we see are the things “they” need to change for things to improve …

A wife needs to take better care of herself.

A child needs to show people more respect.

A friend needs to be more reliable.

A boss needs to be more courteous.

A colleague needs to be more helpful.

The lady at the checkout needs to be friendlier.

Our leaders need to invest more in their people.

The list goes on and on …

But think about the point Louise Hay is making.

Every relationship we are in is a simply a reflection of ourselves.

Well, how does that work, you ask.
I’m glad you did …

She taught that the only way to “change others”is by changing yourself first.

In terms of your marriage, how are YOU not taking care of yourself?

In terms of your child, you know that children learn only by imitating the adults around them. Their habits are in some way YOUR habits. ”

Clear it within you, and you’ll find that they change automatically” she said.

In what way do YOU need to be a more reliable friend?

How can YOU show more consideration care at work showing your boss you truly care?

As colleague, how can YOU be more helpful?

When you go shopping, how can YOU be friendlier with the lady at the checkout? She is simply mirroring you.

How can YOU invest more in your leaders and your community?

The list deftly goes on and on.

The world most often mirrors who we are.

If you want to know what you’re reflecting, simply look to the world around you.

It will tell you all you need to know.

Truly happy people see happiness everywhere and discover the world’s truly a joyous place.

Truly depressed people discover the world is a depressing place and find even more things to be depressed about.

And what did Louise Hay say about “attracting love?”

She said that,

“love comes when we least expect it, when we are not looking for it.”

She encouraged people to not settle for anyone just to have someone, but to set your standards.

Ask yourself, “what kind of love do you want to attract?” Then begin building those qualities in yourself first.

As I reflected on these ideas again this morning, I realised just how much growth is still left to happen within myself.

We are never complete.

We can always grow some more.

It’s an ongoing journey.

I’d like to end this short tribute to Louise Hay by quoting one of the “affirmations” in her book “You Can Heal Your Life…”

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“In the infinity of life where I am, all is perfect, whole, and complete.
I live in harmony and balance with everyone I know.

Deep in the centre of my being, there is an infinite well of love.
I now allow this love to float to the surface.

It fills my heart, my body, my mind, my consciousness, my very being, and radiates out from me in all directions and returns to me multiplied.

The more love I use and give, the more I have to give.
The supplier is endless.
The use of love makes me feel good; it is an expression of my inner joy.

I love myself; therefore, I take loving care of my body.

I lovingly feed it nourishing foods and beverages, I lovingly groom it and dress it, and my body lovingly responds to me with vibrant health and energy.

I love myself; therefore, I provide for myself a comfortable home, one that fills all my needs and is a pleasure to be in.

I fill the rooms with the vibration of love so that all who enter, myself included, will feel this love and be nourished by it.

I love myself; therefore, I work at a job I truly enjoy doing, one that uses my creative talents and abilities, working with and for people I love and who love me, and earning a good income.

I love myself; therefore, I behave and think in a loving way to all people for I know that which I give out returns to me multiplied.

I only attract loving people in my world, for they are a mirror of what I am.

I love myself; therefore, I forgive and totally release the past and all past experiences, and I am free.

I love myself; therefore, I live totally on the now, experiencing each moment as good and knowing that my future is bright and joyous and secure, for I am a beloved child of the Universe, and the Universe lovingly takes care of me now and forevermore.

All is well in my world.”

May you rest in peace Louise Hay.
You definitely touched my life.

If you liked this post, please leave a comment below or share it with your friends.

May light and peace fill your life and relationships.

GH, Gideon Hanekom, Life Coach, High Performance, Trainer, Consultant, Personal Development, Writer, Thought Leader, Speaker, Pastor, M.Div, Whangarei, Northland, New Zealand, New Life, Better Life, Blog
-the relationship guy-


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Written by 

Gideon Hanekom is known as "the relationship guy" and creator of GideonHanekom.com – a top dating and relationship advice coaching blog. He is a trained professional counsellor and one of New Zealand’s top dating, relationship, and marriage bloggers and coaches. His services include one on one sessions, running workshop, and online digital products, advice and courses. He’s been happily married for more than eleven years with two beautiful kids. He went from being fat, sick and unhappy six years ago to losing 30 kilograms and ranking sixth (2015) and seventh in the World for the 60m sprint (M35+) in 2016. He lives in Northland (New Zealand).

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